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2005 Workplace Vocabulary * 

 

These are some comical terms used in your standard place of work in our current times.

404

Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located.

ADMINISPHERE

The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia" needless paperwork and processes.

ASSMOSIS

The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.

BLAMESTORMING

Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

CUBE FARM

An office filled with cubicles.

MOUSE POTATO

The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

OHNOSECOND

That minuscule fraction of time in which you realise that you've just made a BIG mistake (e. g. you've hit 'reply all').

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE

The fine art of whacking the cr@p out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

PRAIRIE DOGGING

When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see that's going on. (This also applies to applause from a promotion because there may be cake.)

SALMON DAY

The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die.

SEAGULL MANAGER

A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, cr@ps on everything, and then leaves.

SITCOMs

Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids or start a "home business".

STRESS PUPPY

A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

TESTICULATING

Waving your arms around and talking b*llocks

 

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